Scribbling

No, nothing really involving the imagination. I’m referring to seeing clearly and in my case, with the aid of eye glasses. Recently, my wife decided that we needed to have our eyes re-examined. Even though I am one whose approach to such things is generally more reactive than proactive — I seek help when I need it– I agreed that we were long overdue.     After a little discussion we decided to go to Sam’s Club for the eye exam and would leave our options open for glasses if our examinations warranted it. I made appointments for the both of us the following week; the examinations went off without a hitch.
The optometrist turned out to be a bit of a computer geek, in fact he became even more friendly and animated when he learned that I had been a programmer for a number of years. Between flipping lens, testing my eyes for glaucoma, cataracts, etc., he rattled along about his using Red Hat Linux and another variant he had tried. I told him the first Linux variant I had used was a very early release of Slackware; however, I also mentioned that he should give Ubuntu Linux a try as I had heard some nice things about it. Any way I learned that there was little change in my vision since my last exam aside from astigmatism, which was slightly more pronounced in my left eye than in my right eye. I was unaware that I suffered even from mild astigmatism: the years in front of a computer terminal accelerated my need for reading glasses for close-up viewing and certainly contributed to the intensity and frequency of the headaches that I endured.
My wife and I decided to purchase everything at Sam’s. I wasn’t particularly fond of the selection of frames available for me so I requested that the new lens be mounted in a pair of frames that I brought with me. The people at the eye center confirmed that this would work just fine. My wife had a much easier time of finding frames that suited her; and, since she wanted a different look, she was doubly pleased. As promised, our glasses were ready for us one week later.
The glasses made for my wife only needed minor adjustment. When it was my turn, I anticipated smooth sailing as well; alas, it was not to be. Instead of a few simple adjustments, I sat through numerous attempts all of which failed to make close up text clear –I was unable to resolve a simple line of text clearly. As I explained to one of the technicians, reading a line of text resembled staring at one of those novelty stereograms popular many years ago. I could still read the text despite its fuzziness. It is always difficult to articulate one’s own sense data as one is actually experiencing it to a second party who is attempting to interpret it as objectively as possible. I began to be frustrated as no adjustment made a difference in how I was seeing. Since I have perfect distance vision, the issue of seeing clearly for reading is paramount. The technician assured me that I needed to allow some time for my eyes to adjust, that my brain was resisting the correction provided by the new lens. I was on my best behavior as my wife was present so I resisted pointing out that the problem with my sight had been substantiated by the prescription from the optometrist that the technician held in his hand and there was no indication of a psychological disfunction responsible for me requiring reading glasses. If my brain could have made me see more clearly, I would never have purchased the first pair of glass a dozen years ago! At this point I have to admit that despite a few goofy sounding comments, the people in the eye center were very pleasant and extremely cooperative. Perhaps, I did need to allow a brief period for my eyes to re-adjust to the stronger prescription and the frames, which I had not worn in a year.
I suffered through blurred vision whenever reading involved articles in the newspaper, books, and especially on my laptop. I had an older pair of glasses that still performed very well but I resisted reverting to their use in order to provide an equitable test for my new spectacles. After a few more days I could relent no longer so I drove back to the vision center at Sam’s Club. There was a different technician on duty but he was as equally pleasant and accommodating as the first. He did some additional adjustments to the frames. He asked me to continue wearing the glasses through the weekend and if my eyes still didn’t respond to the new lenses, he reiterated that they would do what ever was necessary so that I was satisfied. It was a long weekend. On Monday morning I returned to the vision center as soon as it opened. My sight had not improved and I had fears of becoming the lead character in a Keystone Kops remake. To add to those fears which at first may appear to be unfounded, I learned that the optometrist who had examined my eyes had quit without warning –something about the store location was too far from his business and too costly now that fuel prices had spiked again! Hmmm, I expected a baton to whack me upside the head any second –once the stars had gone, maybe I’d see better! No mustachioed gendarmes to haul me off and put me out of my misery; however, the ever-polite technician called LensCrafters where I had purchased my previous pair of glasses to compare that prescription with the latest one. After waiting for about an hour or so for LensCrafters to respond, the technicians said he would call me when he got the information so that we could discuss what would be the most appropriate next step.
The next day my cell phone hums with an incoming round: Sam’s Club on the line. LensCrafters doesn’t have a record of my eye exam but they seem to be able to maintain my address in their database to send me advertising almost monthly since I purchased my last pair of glasses from them several years ago. As I write this, a new pair of lens are being made from my latest prescription only without the added correction for astigmatism. If this last attempt proves to be fruitless, Sam’s will give me a full refund for the glasses, but the optometrist is another matter. I called his office earlier in the day at which time I discovered that his invoice for our examination listed an incorrect telephone number for his practice. The much quoted Pauline verse provides appropriate if ironic perspective: to see through a glass darkly!